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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in ted_the_robot's LiveJournal:

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Monday, January 13th, 2014
7:57 am
What is going on with tiny ghosts?
Well, here’s the deal. The www.tinyghosts.com site is hosted on a friend’s server. He has this really big famous website and was nice enough to let me put my stuff in a corner of it. And that worked really well for me because I have no idea how to do any of this computer stuff and if I had to do it on my own I’d be completely lost.

A few weeks ago, some nefarious folks were trying to hack into my friend’s big famous site. So he ‘locked it down’ to where you can only access it through the computer on his desk (which is 5000 miles away from me). So the tiny ghosts site is still up, but I can’t log into check my email or post a new comic.

He said it would only be a week or two until he figured out how to block the hackers, but it’s been a lot longer than that. I’ve tried to get him to update the site for me, but he has been less than responsive. I don’t want to say anything bad about him because I’m super-thankful that he’s hosting tiny ghosts for free, but it’s frustrating because I can’t really motivate him to help me post comics.

I’m really sorry that no new comics are posting. I’m still creating them, but they are just piling up unused on my computer like all those roses I bought for my secret crush but never had the courage to give. I don’t really know what to do. But I’ll ask you:

I guess I could try to find some other place to host my comic, but to be honest I am exceptionally computer illiterate and I doubt I’d be able to get my own server running. I could try posting comics on tumblr or facebook something as a stop-gap measure, but again, most of my fans wouldn’t be able to find them there. Or I could just wait until my friend gets around to doing whatever it is he needs to do to get his server secure. I don’t really know what the best solution is. It would be easier if I had an eta for when I could get back on his server, but I don’t.

That’s what’s going on with tiny ghosts anyway. I appreciate your patience. In the meantime, check out the archive, there’s 400+ comics in there for you to acquaint yourself with.
Wednesday, September 4th, 2013
9:26 am
Eighth Anniversary
This week the 416th tiny ghosts comic was posted. At one per week, that equals eight entire years of comics! That is a really long time to be making the same creepy comic, don't you think? Especially considering that in all those eight years the comic never missed a single week. I should probably find a better way to spend my time.

But if you want to celebrate the fact that even after eight years no one of any consequence knows about tiny ghosts, the best way is to memorize the phrase "www.tinyghosts.com" and post it all over Facebook and twitter and reedit and snapchat and pinterest and okcupid and 4chan and so on. Then call your local newspaper to demand they run a story about it, then write it at the bottom of your next ransom note, then burn it into your neighbor's lawn with bleach, and finally scribble "for a good time call www.tinyghosts.com" in the bathroom of the seediest bar you frequent.

Also, consider purchasing a memento that can be prominently displayed next to your coffin at the wake: http://www.tinyghosts.com/merch.html
Monday, August 26th, 2013
1:50 pm
My novel, First World Problems in an Age of Terrorism and Ennui, free today on Amazon
Hey guys, my latest novel is free on Amazon again today. Download it and get yourself added to NSA's database of potential terrorist threats!

First World Problems in an Age of Terrorism and Ennui tells the existential struggles of a would-be revolutionary who is frustrated that he can't find a greater purpose or a cause worth fighting for. Set in DC just prior to the attacks of 9/11, the protagonist- a disaffected, 30-something bureaucrat, wanders through aimless interactions with coworkers, friends and girlfriend, irritated and bewildered by their acceptance of the meaninglessness of the modern world. He lashes out in a passive-aggressive way by maintaining a blog filled with tips "terrorists and anarchists" can use in their attacks, but the blog receives few hits or feedback, no matter how incendiary the posts. He attends the WTO demonstration hoping to experience a riot, but is disappointed at how artificial and tame political protests have become in the new millennium. He dreams of a major attack, but when 9/11 unfolds he is forced to reassess his goals and what is important in his life.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B009729QB6
Tuesday, May 14th, 2013
8:04 am
tiny ghosts 400
Did you notice that the comic posted yesterday was labeled, "400"? In the webcomics community we call that a "BRN" (aka a "big round number" for you non-webcomics types). BRNs are the perfect time to celebrate your favorite webcomic by calling all of your friends on the telephone or sending them a cake with a file baked inside and frosting that spells out, "hey if you ever escape you should check out www.tinyghosts.com because it is an awesome thing and I'm not just telling you this because someone has me locked up in a basement and is threatening me with a cleaver."

So yeah, anyway, can you believe that we've been making this comic for 400 weeks without ever missing a single week? I can't even count to 400.

www.tinyghosts.com
Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013
7:19 am
book about alien babies free on amazon today
So remember a few weeks ago I mentioned how my latest novel was available as a free download on amazon and you should 'purchase' it there, even if you already owned it, even if you don't even have a kindle, just to bump up my stats for how many ebooks I 'sold' during the promo?

Probably not. But anyhoo, one of my other novels, Adopted Son is available for free on amazon today and tomorrow, so maybe you could 'purchase' this one for free too?

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0080JK3FU/

Adopted Son is an uplifting world-spanning story about babies... alien babies! How cute is that?!? Darn cute, that's for sure. It is also about farming, bioterrorism, the civil rights movement, and third world revolutions. Although nominally a story of alien invasion based on Roswell Incident and the stories of 'abductees', it touches on a lot of today's social and political topics including; racism, terrorism, xenophobia, war, the intelligence community, bio-warfare, love, peace, family, genetic engineering, militarism, government bureaucracy, and what it means to be human.

Some of the few people who have read it have given it some decent reviews!

But anyway, yeah, amazon lets me give the book away every now and then so it doesn't cost anything if you want to order it, but amazon counts each free download as a sale for their computer algorithms and each sale I make (even free ones) increases the chance that someone else in the universe somewhere will log on to amazon one day in the future and be recommended my novel. So I'm not saying you should read it, or pay actual money for it, or even waste bandwidth downloading it, but if you just 'purchase' it for free these next two days that would marginally help me.

Be a pal!
Friday, January 18th, 2013
12:49 pm
greeting cards relaunch
Do you guys remember when we started selling greeting cards based on tiny ghosts comics? They were an utter commercial failure because the cards were filled with sentiments that you are almost certainly feeling inside, but would never actually send to someone because it would make you seem like a meanie or a creeper.

But let it not be said that I am able to learn lessons, because I am relaunching the tiny ghosts greeting card company! And instead of a paltry 15 designs you don’t want, there are now 52 different designs showcasing expressions that you would never actually share with anyone! That is a lot of destructive emotions to repress!

The cards are all 5”x7” so there is plenty of room for you to scrawl a ransom note, and they come with a free envelope- perfect for use in letter bombs, sending manifestos to the local authorities, or making that one last pathetic attempt to win her back even though you know in your heart she’s moved on.

The cards cost $2.95 each and you can mix and match and buy as many or as few as you want. Now unlike the ones I made years ago, these are being printed by some internet company that prints things and sends them to people. That means I only earn pennies per card, so don’t buy them for my sake. Buy them because it is fun to ruin your relationships with your friends and family!

http://www.tinyghosts.com/cards/
Wednesday, December 26th, 2012
8:04 am
to the kindle people
Hey Guys! Did you get one of those fancy kindle-thingees for X-mas, but you don't have any money to buy books for it? Did you remember that all three of my novels are available for free download on the internet? It is totally true! Impress all your friends by filling your ebook reader with stuff. You can trick them into thinking you can actually read...

Novel about an emo terrorist: http://www.tinyghosts.com/FWP2.html

Novel about alien babies and societal upheaval: http://www.tinyghosts.com/ASN.html

Novel about the Illuminati and madness: http://www.tinyghosts.com/COP.html
Friday, November 23rd, 2012
12:14 pm
still time to buy xmas stuff
Lots of economists and hipsters are saying you shouldn’t give your business to giant retail conglomerates this Xmas, and instead you should spend your money buying handmade gifts directly from small, independent artisans. Trust me, there’s


nothing smaller than the tiny ghosts retail store! Nobody buys this stuff at all! We can’t even give it away.


So be the envy of your Occupy friends, get them a gift that literally no one else will be getting this Christmas:


http://www.tinyghosts.com/merch.html

Thursday, September 27th, 2012
12:17 pm
Latest novel now in print and available
I suppose that this is as good a time as any to let you all know that my latest novel, "First World Problems in an Age of Terrorism and Ennui" is available in print or as an ebook on Amazon: here.

I guess it is classified as 'contemporary literary fiction,' which basically means that it's not sci-fi or fantasy or romance, or any genre like that. It's just about regular people living in the regular world. In this case the regular world is Washington DC at the dawn of the third millennium (aka the year 2000). It's basically about people who don't deal very well with the fact that their lives are pretty comfortable and easy and they want more out of life, but don't know how to ask for it. Which is sort of where I was in life when I wrote it. I think it's a pretty good book.

First World Problems tells the existential struggles of a gen-x would-be revolutionary/terrorist who is frustrated that he can't find a greater purpose or a cause worth fighting for. Set in DC between the WTO protests in 2000 and the attacks of 9/11, the protagonist- a disaffected, unreliable narrator who is irritated and bewildered with the world and the attitudes of those around him, wanders aimlessly through his interactions with coworkers, friends, and his girlfriend, all of whom seem to care about him but don't understand him. He lashes out in a passive-aggressive way by maintaining a blog filled with tips "terrorists and anarchists" can use in their attacks, but the blog receives few hits or feedback, no matter how incendiary the posts. He attends the WTO demonstration hoping to experience a riot, but is disappointed at how artificial and tame political protests have become in the new millennium. He dreams of a major attack, just to shake up the status quo. But when 9/11 unfolds he is forced to reassess his goals and what is important in his life.

$14.95 retail. 278 pages, 8.5"x5.5", trade paperback
Published by Dark Mountain Books
Physical ISBN: 978-1-931468-31-2, electronic ISBN: 978-1-931468-80-0
Thursday, May 31st, 2012
12:31 pm
win a free book
So, there's a contest over at goodreads.com that you can enter to win a physical copy of my first novel:

http://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/show/26787-city-of-pillars

And I know, it's silly to even mention this to you because you already know like a dozen ways that you can get a free copy of the book right now this very instant:

http://www.tinyghosts.com/COP.html

And so if you really wanted it you'd already have it, unless maybe you didn't see all those other posts I made about my first novel because you don't have access to the internet, but I guess that if you don't have access to the internet you probably aren't seeing this message either so it doesn't really make a difference, unless I suppose if you are one of those rich old dudes who doesn't actually use the internet but instead just has your assistant print out all of your emails and read them to you while you lounge around in a big bed with a sled named Rosbud. But if that's you, you probably aren't really my demographic anyway and even if you were you have so much money that you could just buy a copy yourself and make your hapless assistant read it to you, unless you are a cheapskate like Scrooge or Monty Burns in which case, maybe this post is exactly what you were waiting for, yes?!?

Anyway, long story short, tell all your friends to enter this contest to win a free book.
Tuesday, May 15th, 2012
12:35 pm
promoting my novels.
So, I made little promo-websites for my two novels, which are now available as free ebooks. Please be a pal and repost them to whatever dreary corners of the internet you frequent that are populated by creepsters and sci-fi nerds who might be interested in such a thing:

Illuminati-conspiracy, obsession thriller:
http://www.tinyghosts.com/COP.html

World-spanning, alien invasion, civil rights sci-fi novel:
http://www.tinyghosts.com/ASN.html
Friday, May 4th, 2012
1:00 pm
2nd novel now available as an ebook
You can now get my 2nd novel as an ebook, not only DRM-free but actually free-free. All you have to do is go to this URL from your mobile device (like a ipad or an iphone) and it should pretty much automatically download:

http://www.tinyghosts.com/ASN.epub

I've heard rumors that facebook doesn't like this link, so if you are seeing the link on facebook, you might have to cut and paste it in your browser window in order to get it to work. This is because computers are mysterious and evil.

If you've got a kindle or a nook I don't know how to download it to those devices, but I figure you can figure it out, you are a big boy.

Unlike my first novel, which was a cautionary tale of the illuminati and obsession, this second novel is an uplifting world-spanning story about babies... alien babies! How cute is that?!? Darn cute, that's for sure. It is also about farming, bioterrorism, the civil rights movement, and third world revolutions.

Btw, you can get my first novel at:

http://www.tinyghosts.com/COP.epub

If you want to know more about my novels before going to all the trouble and expense of downloading them for free, you can read a bit about them at:

http://www.invispress.com/law/buy.html

If you do read them, and are so inclined, I will give you many kisses if you post a review about them on Amazon or goodreads.com or barnesandnoble.com or the New Yorker or the NY Times Book Review section, or anyplace like that. And if you happen to know anyone on the National Book Award nominating committee or Mark David Chapman, please email me, I have a message I'd like you to pass on for me.
Saturday, April 28th, 2012
2:14 pm
tiny ghosts studios
Guess where I'm writing this from? From the brand new Tiny Ghosts Studios! Yes, the universe is strange enough that there is now a dedicated space for the production of Tiny Ghosts comics and merchandise.

The cool part for you is that you now have an actual physical location where you can mail cash, suggestive photos of yourself, bombs, and/or valentines. The cool part for us is that now we can act all pretentious and pretend that we're actually professionals!

The address is:

Tiny Ghosts Studios
174 Franklin St.
Suite 102
Juneau, AK 99801
Wednesday, April 25th, 2012
6:14 pm
Pinterest, redux
Remember, all of the tiny ghosts comics have been 'pinned' at Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/tinyghostsboo/tiny-ghosts/ So feel free to repin any of the ones you like to your personal board. It'll make people think you are cool...
Saturday, April 21st, 2012
9:35 pm
free ebook
So, I'm finally making my novels into ebooks. They should be available for sale on iTunes and Kindle soon. But don't buy them, I've got drm-free versions you can just have. Speaking of which, I put the first one (the one thats reminicent of the DaVinci Code) at:

http://www.tinyghosts.com/COP.epub

Now for god sakes don't actually read it, it's weird and not well written, but if you have a few minutes see if you can download it and get it to work on your reader. If so, let me knows if it seems formatted correctly. Formatting ebooks is ridiculously difficult.
Monday, April 2nd, 2012
12:49 pm
tiny ghosts, on video?!?
As you know, tiny ghosts is a mixed media photography project that attempts to tell an entire story in just two sentences. Unfortunately, experiencing tiny ghosts in its intended fashion requires two things, "reading" and "clicking the next link." Turns out, we get a lot of hate mail from fans who say that while they love the comic, they just wish we could do away with all the reading and clicking associated with it. Never say that we do not listen to our fans! Tiny ghosts is pleased to announce our new service, "Tiny Ghosts - Video." With this service, 20 comics will be injected directly into your ears and eyeballs without having to click or read anything. It's the comic equivalent of crack cocaine. These videos were narrated by the creepy and delicious J.P. Marston, who is so cool that he actually once made out with two vampires at the same time, on television!

http://www.tinyghosts.com/videos.html

Please do your part by reposting these videos everywhere or thumbing them up on reddit, ow whatever it is you kids do for viral marketing these days.
Tuesday, March 6th, 2012
5:32 pm
Yet another tiny ghosts book giveaway!
Hey guys! Remember how a few weeks ago we told you about the contests you could enter to win free copies of the first two tiny ghosts anthologies? Well, there's now a contest where you can win the third tiny ghosts anthology! Holy moley! Now I realize that it's kinda strange to have the third of something when you don't even own the first two, but its a free contest and its not like I'm going to send you a bomb or a vial of poison gas probably, so it can't hurt to enter right?

http://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/show/21676-the-best-thing-that-ever-happened-to-me
Monday, March 5th, 2012
6:18 pm
award winning filmmaker
So you remember me telling you about that movie I worked on? Well it won best in show at the DC Independent Film Festival. Winning a filmmaking award in DC is super-prestigious, just like winning an award for being the best politican in Los Angeles is, or being the best vegan restaurant in Texas.


So now I can add, "award-winning filmaker" to my long list of accomplishments which also contains or will soon contain "vanishingly-obscure internet comic strip creator," "failed novelist," and "notorious mass murderer."


But most importantly, if you have nothing to do for a few hours, you can rent the movie on the website for a mere pittance. It's a new distributor-less distribution model that's the envy of indie filmmakers everywhere.

Thursday, February 16th, 2012
12:36 pm
Ultrasonic
Even though you might think that I live under a bridge doing nothing all day but making creepy comics and gnawing on the bones of unlucky children, I do have a life outside of tiny ghosts you know.

Case in point: unbeknownst to you I've been working on a movie called Ultrasonic. The movie got finished a few months ago, and we found out recently that it was accepted in this year's DC Independent Film Festival! I can't brag too much since although my name appears in the opening credits, I was only marginally involved. My official title in the credits is "story consultant" which is code for "a guy who helped to develop the plot of the movie in some amorphous way but didn't actually write the screenplay." The real credit goes to my friends Ro and Mike, and all the rest of the cast and crew who worked a lot harder on this than I did. I guess the one cool thing about having a movie that has had a real theatrical release is that I qualify for an IMDB entry.

Anyway, if you are in DC on March 3rd and you have nothing better to do you could go watch it. Or, if you happen to be under house-arrest, you can stream the movie online at http://www.ultrasonicmovie.com/. Now if you'll excuse me I have some ungnawed bones that I must attend to...
Wednesday, February 1st, 2012
12:06 pm
e-zine
FYI: Selected tiny ghosts comics will be periodically published in the In Harsh Light e-zine for the foreseeable future. In Harsh Light is run by a dude who has leather wristbands and plays guitar (although just a regular guitar, not one shaped like a giant axe or anything). There are other people involved too. I don't know what kind of wristbands they have, but I assume they are equally hard-core.
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